I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
