Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
