I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
