pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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