So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
