he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This baby is an asshole
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
