Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
