all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
