this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
