I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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