I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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