yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
