You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
