She is in my trunk
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
