Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
