I wannas sexs uuuuu
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize