Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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