Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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