something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize