he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
