It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
