Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
