Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
