Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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