What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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