A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
