I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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