I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize