Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you would pick up someone in the library
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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