I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
