i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
