Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
