Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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