I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
