I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize