careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
