do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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