i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
