I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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