I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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