So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she peed on how many people?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
