Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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