I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
