and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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