Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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