Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
