end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
