Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry somewhit3chick hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?

Fav 37 737 1249
share tweet
(818): View more from California

Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day

Fav 20 1013 2772
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.

Fav 37 3132 754
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

pussy has no personality

(609): View more from New Jersey

Amen to that

Fav 17 3127 954
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.

Fav 2 3993 2244
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.

Fav 10 4871 1229
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic

Fav 2 2947 1056
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.

Fav 1 943 502
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.

Fav 3 138 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT