thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
