i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
