i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
