Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
