There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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