Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I faked an abortion last night.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
