So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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