dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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