I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we're so committed to being not committed
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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