It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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