Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
