Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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