Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
