Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize