And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize