Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
